This site is for oddballs who:

  • Procrastinate

  • Fall over in front of important, judgy people.

  • Eat past 80% full.

  • Forget to meditate.

  • Forget to shower.

  • Talk to their pets.

  • Feel like they’re gonna die of some insidious, subclinical disease at any moment.

  • Can’t sleep.

  • Have big dreams but sometimes just ignore them and eat bread.

  • Make fun of manifestation...but want to believe.

  • Do the opposite.

  • Hate bands as soon as they become cool. (You're only hurting yourself.)

  • Can’t decide if they’re a dog or a cat person.

  • Occasionally pick their nose.

  • Write really bad poetry.

  • Write really bad poetry and send it to people who aren’t even worth the really bad poetry.

  • See their hairdresser every Hayley’s Comet.

  • Suck at charging for their services.

  • Want to work for themselves.

  • Want to work on a laptop from a beach in budgie smugglers.

  • Want to give up caffeine, but fuck that.

  • Have changed career paths, like, 77 times.

  • Love books more than people.

  • Love people more than People Magazine.

  • Love love but fucking hate love when it fucks them.

Congratulations! You're shit.